WRITINGS
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The title of his 2007 debut CD etudes4violin&electronix ingeniously encapsulates the genre-busting proclivities of its bow-wielding mastermind; indeed, given his predilection for amplification, effect pedals, and intermittent percussive slapping of his instrument, the dreadlocked 37-year-old “hip-hop violinist” has rightfully been accused of doing for violin what Jimi Hendrix had done for electric guitar, although—other than figuratively via his impassioned style of play—he always stops short of literally setting it on fire. After all, Mr. Roumain harbors no aggression whatsoever towards his trusty wooden companion, for aside from his immediate family, playing the violin has been “the only thing in my life that I’ve known since I was five years old.” ... (Read More »»)
Twelve specific environmental tipping points have been identified so far, and mathematical models abound that aim to quantify exactly how disquieted mankind ought to be about each one. Upon studying a number of these models, however, one quickly realizes that, on balance, they are no less chaotic than the systems they seek to describe, and there never seems to be a shortage of game-changing variables that had somehow or other failed to make it into a given calculation. Hence, the arithmetic of climate change has proven inordinately prone to the “oops” factor, as upon being confronted with the most recent set of satellite data which reveal that yet another strapping ice shelve that was scheduled to spring a hairline crack a few centuries down the road has mysteriously disintegrated overnight. ... (Read More »»)
For unknown reasons, serious food allergies are on the rise. These days, roughly 6% of American infants are born with mild to potentially lethal adverse reactions to particular proteins found in certain types of food, with peanuts and shellfish leading the league in ferocity, followed by tree nuts, seafood, dairy products, wheat, eggs, and soy. Allergies to brown rice and broccoli are virtually unheard of, which—once again—goes to show that the boring things in life are generally safe, while all the fun stuff is liable to occasion obesity, pregnancy, delinquency, skin rashes, or anaphylactic shock. ... (Read More »»)
You may think you are just doodling with a pencil, but what you are really doing is exploring the relationship between a hexagonally crystallized allotrope of carbon and the papery surface to which it is applied. Quite along these lines, Spencer Finch utilizes a scientific method and a poetic sensibility to explore the relationship between color, light, memory, and perception, as stated in the literature accompanying the 20th annual Art Show at the Park Avenue Armory. The debate over what exactly constitutes art will rage on in perpetuity. For all practical purposes, though, art can safely be defined as anything expensive on display in an art exhibit that comes with an explanation convoluted enough to cause the average human head to explode within less than twelve seconds. Aside from that, some of it looks rather pretty. ... (Read More »»)
If all the elements in a story hang together like beads on a string and each one of Chekov’s guns dutifully goes off before curtain time, plain who-what-when-where language, interspersed with a few zingy one-liners here and there, works swimmingly. If, on the other hand, several story lines that don’t quite gel on their own are to be bundled under one heading, stylish use of language goes a long way towards forging into a homogenous whole what may otherwise seem like a chimera of disparate elements. In one scene, Hamlet’s mother, the queen, asks for more matter with less art, but were she given a just-the-facts-Jack prose version of Hamlet, Her Highness may quickly change her royal tune and demand the art be restored as a crucial catalyst for the matter. ... (Read More »»)
Chairman Oscar de la Renta rendered unnecessary any further attempts at handicapping the ’08 election by summarily introducing Bill Clinton as “the husband of the next President of the United States” (you read it here first!) before presenting the former leader of the free world with his medal. Although Mr. Clinton seemed a mite hazy as to the precise nature of his alleged contributions to Spanish-American relations, he put forth a plausible hypothesis: "It may be because even though I'm not of Spanish descent, I've seen every one of Penélope Cruz's movies—and I liked them all." For the record, the movies in question include “Live Flesh”, “Blow”, and “Woman on Top”, and of all the things the actress could have donned for the evening, she had picked a blue dress. Beyond congenial socializing, however, it appears the president did not engage in any cross-cultural bonding with that woman, Ms. Cruz. ... (Read More »»)
The royalties check came in the mail. Twenty-three hundred dollars. Wow. The 19-year-old show biz tenderfoot proudly dashed upstairs to break the happy news to his parents. Upon casting a skeptical glance at the physical evidence, mom quickly noticed her gloating progeny’s poor number comprehension skills: the check actually read twenty-three thousand dollars. A few moments of stunned silence later, Neil Sedaka decided that songwriting was definitely the way to go, and, effective immediately, his parental units suspended their efforts to talk him out of it. ... (Read More »»)
Precariously elevated environmental estrogen levels briefly registered within several blocks of Fifth Avenue and 61st Street as the 19th Annual Women of the Year Luncheon was under way at The Pierre. Nightline co-anchor Cynthia McFadden, legal maven Linda Fairstein, Martha Stewart’s Omnimedia CEO Susan Lyne, and The Donald’s charming feme Melania were spotted amongst the well-and-high-heeled assembly, while furloughed CBS-News lady Roz Abrams donated her downtime emceeing chops in homage to accomplished female role models who have attained to preeminence in a given field. Paris, Britney, and Lindsay had—surprise, surprise!—been passed over for consideration once again. ... (Read More »»)
Marco Polo had nothing to do with it. The game was invented in Persia in the sixth century B.C. and is generally considered the oldest team sport on record. It looks a little like baseball on horseback with mallets instead of bats, or like an equestrian form of golf without the holes in the lawn. Although full-sized horses are used, for alliterative effect these hoofed conveyances are referred to as polo ponies. The first polo club was established in the town of Silchar in Assam, India, in 1834, and the first polo match in the United States took place at Dickel's Riding Academy at 39th Street and Fifth Avenue in 1876. ... (Read More »»)
Irrespective of what many men may claim, the fact remains that diamonds are the hardest things in nature. They form in the earth’s lithospheric mantle at a depth of 90-120 miles before being thrust upwards to within mining range via deep-origin volcanic eruptions. The bad news is that due to a dearth of volcanic activity in many parts of the world, the better part of global diamond reserves will always remain untapped. The good news is that after London and Moscow, “diamonaire extraordinaire” Lev Leviev has just launched his first U.S. retail outlet at 700 Madison Avenue. ... (Read More »»)
For the average 21st century teenager, the term antique invokes images of old-fashioned floppy disks and VCRs. Chances are, it won’t be long before the first crop of vintage iPods will be on view at the annual Winter Antiques Show, generally considered the most prestigious such event in the country. During the show’s 54th incarnation, the Park Avenue Armory was, once again, jammed to the gunwales with grizzled sundries from 75 exhibitors, and crowds of visitors milled among all manner of antediluvian furniture, chandeliers, candlesticks, andirons, cast iron urns, polychromed prancing horses, ancient Egyptian bronze mummy masks for cats, and other curious bric-a-brac the acquisition of which would instantly bankrupt all but the flushest among us. ... (Read More »»)
Folks concerned about border security can put their minds at ease: Rolo, Banjo, and Brodie are in the trenches to keep us safe. The three detector beagles, trained members of the Department of Homeland Security’s Beagle Brigade, are tasked with sniffing luggage at airports, thereby protecting our nation from the unauthorized import of potentially hazardous agricultural products. The canine U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents were granted a furlough from airport duty at JFK to attend the Animal Medical Center’s Top Dog gala at The Rainbow Room. All other guests walked upright and were endowed with opposable thumbs. ... (Read More »»)
Turned down by the U.S. Air Force on account of an impressive string of speeding tickets, George Lucas took to the cosmos to abreact his predilection for superluminal velocity. Thirty plus years later, our rejected fighter pilot has long blossomed into one of the heaviest hitters in Hollywood history. His goodly arsenal of accolades has of late been expanded by a Prince Rainier III Award for outstanding contributions to the arts. No other than Mr. Darth Vader-Verizon, a.k.a. James Earl Jones, dropped by the 25th Anniversary Princess Grace Awards Gala at Sotheby’s New York to present the vaunted trophy to the accomplished producer. ... (Read More »»)
A humongous hammer hovered menacingly over the cocktail area, and although fashioned entirely out of bubble wrap, it must have weighed close to a ton. Had it come crashing down, it could easily have flattened a hapless baby elephant. In addition, so many cardboard boxes had been crammed into Manhattan’s Pier Sixty at 23rd Street, the Federal Emergency Management Agency reported a serious shortage of packaging materials for the remaining Tri-State Area that night. ... (Read More »»)
Should you ever find yourself stranded in the vicinity of Madison and 63rd without earrings or a watch, you’re in luck: Chopard, world-renowned creator of luxurious personal ornamentation, has recently opened its 100th and largest store at 709 Madison Avenue to meet all your jewelry and horology needs. (No “w”—the latter term strictly connotes the science of measuring time; although, in a wider sense, a reliable timepiece certainly facilitates the accurate billing of all manner of services rendered.) ... (Read More »»)
While many regard Capitol Hill as the greatest circus in the country, others prefer the more traditional kind with real clowns. It was mid-1977, the infamous Summer of Sam, when Paul Binder and Michael Christenson debuted the Big Apple Circus in New York City, now in its 30th year of enthralling audiences of all ages with spellbinding acrobatics, riveting animal stunts, and sidesplitting clowneries. ... (Read More »»)
Unless they’re on the menu, non-human vertebrates are generally banned from food-serving establishments. However, a few four-legged critters not meant for consumption were given special dispensation to attend the ASPCA Humane Awards Luncheon at the Rainbow Room, for it would be unthinkable to conduct an award ceremony and exclude the recipents solely on account of their taxonomic classification. Health code or no health code. ... (Read More »»)
From prison, Paris Hilton recently announced that she had become more spiritual and that God had given her a "new chance." Since no one can look into the woman's heart, the factuality of her alleged epiphany is not at issue. Certainly, though, Ms. Hilton and her PR cuadrilla were fully aware that her announcement would draw endless ridicule from everyone but her staunchest apostles. Thus it stands to reason that being mocked was indeed the calculated goal of her redemption proclamation straight from the big house and that its attendant publicity was expected to translate into increased revenue for the Hilton brand.
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